I Like your Old Stuff better than your New Stuff

Since opening this blog last week, I've been living like I'm driving my old Datsun 200B again - embarrassed, disconcerted, and fearing any potential bump. 

I've celebrated the groundbreaking success of my 91 views like I'd been picked up to write a regular feature in The New Yorker. Could I ever reach those dizzying heights again? Surely not. Applying the law of diminishing returns was never part of the plan.

Thankfully, like many of us, I have a little man that rests upon my left shoulder. He talks a lot; quite frankly, most of it is complete rubbish. Absolute tripe. Anyway, in a surprisingly motivational mood today, he said, "Pull yourself together, son. You've committed. Dig deep, find a yarn."

In sport, they call it 'the second-year syndrome'. Movie sequels are also renowned for falling flat. Take the Teen Wolf series, for example. When little Scotty Howard miraculously morphed into the werewolf version of Michael Jordan, his whole life changed. His double pumps, alley-oops and tomahawk dunks brought him fast cars and fancy women. But nobody batted an eyelid when his little cousin Todd popped up in Teen Wolf Too as a half-man, half-wolf college boxing champion. 

The sheer romance of my first date with my now wife, Kate, shines another light on the pressures of living up to an eye-catching debut. After perusing the menus of North Melbourne's numerous eating establishments, I decided, rather confidently, on a little-known Korean setup. I'd never eaten Korean. I had no idea if Kate had either. I left my wallet at home, the food was terrible, and I have no doubt some illicit substances were being sold out the back. Kate paid.

Then, after taking the little lady to an entirely appropriate Borat flick, which she kindly offered to pay for, we walked home, and Kate had clearly landed the man of her dreams. Unsurprisingly, I have no idea what happened on our second date, but how on earth could I live up to that first impression?

And so, in keeping with the traditionally underwhelming, largely forgettable, second-edition-of-most-things, I'm signing off to find some inspiration for a thundering third edition. I'm sure you can't wait.